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So many people put ourselves beneath strain to attempt to be associates with an ex. And, sure, generally we strain our ex into making an attempt to be associates with us. On this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Classes, I clarify why forcing ourselves or others to be associates after a breakup is disingenuous, dangerous to our well-being, and may even influence our availability for subsequent relationships.
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5 key matters on this episode
- Being associates with an ex as a result of it’s a real friendship is nice. Being associates with an ex as a result of we’ve a hidden agenda of secretly auditioning for our previous function within the hope they’ll see how fabulous we’re and remorse being damaged up, not so nice.
- Once we say sure to being associates with our ex as a result of we’re afraid of what is going to occur if and after we say no, we’re signing up for ache. We worry incurring their wrath, judgement, and even being judged by others. An inauthentic sure results in much more issues than if we’d mentioned no within the first place.
- Friendship is a relationship between associates. Mates don’t attempt to screw you, screw together with your head, or screw you over. And when you cross the friendship threshold into romance, it takes distance and wholesome boundaries earlier than a friendship could be restored, if in any respect.
- We don’t have to show each romantic relationship right into a friendship to justify having invested ourselves. It’s a sunk price. Courting or being in a relationship was what it took to be concerned. The ship has sailed. We have to cease making an attempt to get a “return on funding.”
- Had been you associates earlier than you grew to become romantically concerned? Even should you have been associates, did you (or they) have romantic emotions? If you happen to weren’t associates earlier than being romantically concerned, have been you real associates in addition to lovers? Be sincere about whether or not you might be or have been really associates.
Hyperlinks talked about + beneficial assets
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