With over 22 million single dad and mom in the US right now and numbers persevering with to rise, many church buildings are launching or at the very least exploring the thought of single mothers’ discipleship and evangelism of their ministry and outreach plans.  

Because the chief of a nationwide nonprofit dedicated to working with church buildings to assist them develop an efficient single mothers’ ministry plan and a former single mother myself, nothing delights me as a lot because the mobilized physique of Christ in search of inventive methods to serve the only mother-led household (and single dads, too)! Whereas there are lots of church buildings internet hosting single mothers’ ministries, Bible research, dwelling teams, or occasions, single mothers’ ministry continues to be a reasonably new ministry idea and there isn’t a lot available on the market to help church buildings with efficient ministry methods, notably because it pertains to what works, what doesn’t, progress methods, and trouble-shooting.  

Having served a number of thousand church buildings during the last decade, together with numerous sizes, denominations, and ministry varieties, I’ve realized a number of issues about efficient progress and implementation methods. I’ve additionally realized a lot about what to not do in single mothers’ ministry! Under, discover 9 issues a single mothers’ ministry ought to by no means be.  

1. Unbiblical // Maybe the toughest a part of this ministry has been in educating church buildings what single mothers’ ministry is and what it isn’t. The criticism our ministry would usually obtain, particularly within the early years of launch, was that single moms’ ministries by some means supported unbiblical habits. Gosh, I’m unsure I’ve the area or time to deal with this concern in its entirety, however let me merely say this. First, no single moms’ applications we’ve labored with (and even heard about) endorse any anti-Biblical habits. Wholesome single mothers’ ministries exist to fulfill a necessity for girls and kids. They present the love of Christ, promote Bible examine, provide fellowship & discipleship, educate in life abilities, mentor, and extra. They don’t promote divorce, unwed being pregnant, or any unbiblical habits. We acknowledge single moms arrive at their journey by means of quite a lot of situations, together with demise of a partner, grandparenting alone, foster care, divorce, and unwed start. And sure, a few of these situations do contain sin. Nonetheless, drug habit ministries don’t help drug use. They merely meet individuals the place they’re, providing hope and restoration by means of Christ. Single mothers’ ministries ought to by no means be unbiblical of their instructing or promote sinful habits and none that we all know of, really do, however I needed to deal with this concern upfront, since it’s a concern that your pastor or congregation might specific within the onset of launch or consideration of such a ministry.

2. Unapproachable // Bear in mind junior excessive? Bear in mind the way you’d really by no means wish to return? The cliques at lunch. The insecurity. The awkward moments at a locker surrounded by the “cool children”. The understanding that you just didn’t slot in. Junior excessive isn’t precisely often known as the friendliest, most approachable, season of life. Don’t be like junior excessive! Work to create a welcoming setting, the place new mothers should not solely welcomed, however sought out. Create methods the place no mother sits alone. Recruit pleasant volunteers who’ve the present of hospitality that may deliver attendees into the fold and provides them duties to assist them really feel nearer to the group. Create ice breakers and intentional time of enjoyable and fellowship. Try to attenuate cliques inside the group.  

3. Caught // Some of the frequent cellphone calls our ministry workplace receives is from pissed off ministry leaders who’ve been main single moms’ Bible examine for a while and the ministry doesn’t appear to be rising in numbers or religious maturity. Development takes place in two methods: a). outwardly – when it comes to sheer numbers in attendance and b). inwardly – when it comes to religious progress amongst attendees. Efficient single mothers’ ministries are those that are in search of methods to develop in each. Outward progress means analyzing advertising and marketing methods and communication. Inward progress means spending time in search of the Holy Spirit, praying, learning the Phrase, and instructing others to do the identical.  

4. Self-centered // Efficient single mothers’ teams can’t be centered on self. They don’t exist to bash exes, repeatedly share our personal private tales, sabotage progress for others, or play sufferer. Efficient teams have to be centered on Jesus first, then servanthood to others. Questions resembling, “How can we increase our group to succeed in extra mothers? How can we make the group extra partaking? What recent concepts may assist these in our group and past our group develop in Christ? How can we serve new single mothers or those that have a necessity in our group?”  Jesus got here to not be served however to serve. (See Matthew 20:28). He is an ideal instance of specializing in others first. Whereas actually a single mothers’ ministry is to pour into the lives of these in attendance, it’s also to corporately search for methods to serve others and to name one another as much as a better stage with godly counsel and knowledge.  

5. Worldly //There are many social teams out there for girls, males, singles, marrieds, or others to socialize, if one’s solely need is to from friendships or community. However a single mothers’ ministry on the church is completely different. It’s a holy place of progress, therapeutic, fellowship, group, and its heart needs to be on God’s Phrase, His instruction, and His will for our lives. Too many group research (single mothers or in any other case, for that matter), start to tackle a cosmopolitan tradition that glorifies self, sin, or tradition. Be conscious of this in single mothers’ teams.  

6. Church-replacing // Single mothers’ ministry is a Bible examine that’s created as a help for single moms and their youngsters (or single dad and mom, usually.) It’s NOT meant to interchange common attendance with the collective church. Single mothers’ ministry leaders or Bible examine leaders don’t change the significance of pastors inside the church. Each group Bible examine and church attendance with the entire physique are vital to a Believer’s life. Each serve a task in shepherding single moms. Nonetheless, group research mustn’t circumvent the significance of getting planted in a neighborhood physique of Believers. 

7. Construction-less // Be certain that your single mother’s group has construction. Busy mothers are juggling homework, a number of jobs, and limitless calls for. They are going to wish to know the group is value their time. Now, clearly investing in God’s phrase and with His individuals is at all times effectively value our time, however as leaders, take the time to supply group and construction to your assembly. I like to recommend assembly two instances monthly (not weekly) and using the 30-30-30 rule. half-hour of meals & fellowship. half-hour of instructing. half-hour of debate time or Q&A.  

8. Inconvenient // Assume by means of a busy single mothers’ schedule. Two jobs. Potential three. At-home companies to extend earnings movement. Three children. Homework. Carpool duties. Family chores. Processing the month-to-month invoice funds. Soccer apply. And the checklist goes on. Make sure that as you’re evaluating the assembly time, location, and day, that you just analyze the times that work greatest for busy mothers. Our ministry has labored with over 2,000 church buildings and much and away the church buildings with Friday evening, Saturday evening, or Sunday afternoon assembly days are most extremely attended compared to their weekday or weeknight counterparts.  

9. Siloed // Single mothers’ ministries (or any ministry, e.g. youth, widows’, womens’, and so forth.) should not meant to segregate single moms from the remainder of the church. They merely exist to reinforce a single mother’s general life expertise in her stroll with Christ. They exist to permit the mother to forge friendships with girls who’re in the same life season and to garner perception from those that are maybe additional alongside of their single parenting expertise. Be certain that your single mothers’ ministry is well-connected to the opposite parts of church life, taking care to promote different church occasions and methods to become involved. Additional, single mothers’ teams can usually be distinctive ministries inside a group, so I encourage ministry leaders of different single mothers’ teams to connect with each other.  

Jennifer Maggio is a mother to a few, spouse to Jeff, and founding father of the nationwide nonprofit, The Lifetime of a Single Mother Ministries. She is creator to 4 books, together with The Church and the Single Mother. She was named one of many High 10 Most Influential Individuals in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in lots of of media venues, together with The New York Instances, Household Speak Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Pals, and lots of others.