A part of processing the breakup of a painful relationship is speaking about what the particular person did and didn’t do. It’s reminding ourselves of how a lot they harm or upset us, lest we neglect and get sucked into going again. We’re grieving the lack of our relationship.

Nonetheless, a part of processing what’s occurred and therapeutic is acknowledging our reality. We entered into the unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship with much less consciousness and self-knowledge than we’ve got now. We had completely different attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours, which meant we had blind spots in sure areas. Odds are, we received into the connection for the flawed causes, hidden intentions we would solely have the ability to face now. It’s additionally doable that depth meant that we staked ourselves to this particular person too rapidly.

Recognising the journey we travelled to coming into a painful relationship doesn’t absolve the opposite occasion of their half. Nonetheless, by taking accountability for the way we wish to really feel and who we’re and wish to be, we’ve got the choice to decide on in another way in future and heal, develop and study. That willingness to have an trustworthy, compassionate dialog with ourselves opens us as much as extra love, care, belief, and respect.

The second we let go of assumptions, unrealistic expectations and blame, we cease holding ourselves hostage to a crappy scenario. If we’re not blaming ourselves, we don’t have to harm in the identical method. We additionally heal the previous variations of us too.

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