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Asking for or simply straight up needing assist and assist doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human.
All the time being the giver or the whole lot having to be transactional the place we see individuals as a way to an finish or really feel as if we’ve got to earn assist first or pay it again is a block to intimacy. What does at all times being the Robust One (or definitely the one which does the supporting) say concerning the vulnerability in {our relationships}? Who does everybody else must be to facilitate our position? Takers? Victims? Weak? Needy?
And, sure, it’s greater than OK to ask for assist, particularly for those who’re inclined to sometimes be the Robust One as a result of individuals won’t know the extent of your battle behind the masks. Your perpetual energy and busyness may obscure their view. Asking doesn’t make you ‘needy’, however it additionally doesn’t imply they’re a nasty companion, pal or member of the family for not instinctively understanding.
I maintain my fingers up. I do know that I [insert a couple of habits that briefly encapsulate you being ‘strong’], however proper now, I would like you to [insert what you need].
I’m struggling proper now. Whereas I don’t essentially want you to particularly do one thing, your understanding this and permitting me to not be my ‘traditional self’ can be so useful proper now.
I simply don’t have the bandwidth. Are you able to ________?
I’m sorry I’ve given the impression that I’m dealing with the whole lot. I’m actually not, and I’d like it for those who may assist with _______.
While you ask for or present that you simply want assist, you humanise you, however you additionally let others in and specific your boundaries and bandwidth. As a substitute of fearing dependence, you get to benefit from the mutual reliance of interdependence. Because of this, you and your relationships will prosper.
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