This transcript was created utilizing speech recognition software program. Whereas it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it might comprise errors. Please evaluate the episode audio earlier than quoting from this transcript and e-mail transcripts@nytimes.com with any questions. [MUSIC PLAYING]

At this time is February 13, which implies it’s Galentine’s Day. I really feel like Valentine’s Day will not be empowering for ladies — it’s patronizing, and we have to get rid of it.

My title is Kristina Samulewski, and I work in Opinion Audio for “The New York Occasions.”

Galentine’s Day is a day for ladies to have fun ladies. It was popularized by the TV present “Parks and Recreation” in 2010. And in season two, Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie Knope, introduces it as the very best vacation of the 12 months.

And I really feel like our tradition over time has co-opted it in such a approach that it’s turn into a day focused for single ladies. Galentine’s Day I really feel was filling this void that single ladies didn’t have — a day to have fun on Valentine’s Day. As a result of the day is admittedly reserved for people who find themselves in relationships.

So today you could find lots of of movies on TikTok of younger ladies who’re celebrating Galentine’s Day.

The whole lot is in pink or crimson, together with the meals and the drinks.

And the ladies are gathering to only have fun your singleness, and to have fun together with your gal buddies. Over time, Galentine’s Day has come to characterize clichéd trite rituals that fall into what I believe are virtually archaic variations of what ladies’s empowerment ought to appear to be. And I believe that it turned so well-liked due to the feminist motion that was occurring on the time, which actually sort of feels outdated right now as we all know feminism to be.

There’s nothing fallacious with sitting with your folks and celebrating your friendship collectively over mimosas, or over a slumber get together. However when that is the one day {that a} lady who’s single has to have fun, it simply turns into alienating. It’s actually ostracized single ladies.

I used to be chronically single in my 20s, and I used to be the target market for Galentine’s Day. However the factor is, I’ve all the time adored Valentine’s Day. I really like the excuse to put on pink and crimson, I really like the excess quantity of sweets, and I really like the love that fills the day. It simply has heat, cozy emotions to me. And I felt prefer it was additionally demeaning to the day itself — that it’s been so stigmatized and so narrowly outlined that it’s solely about relationships.

I keep in mind again in school, I used to be working a retail job. And my coworker on the time, I instructed her that I beloved Valentine’s Day. And in response she instructed me, “oh, so that you’re a type of folks.” I actually bought the sense that she thought I used to be somebody who beloved the Hallmark vacation of Valentine’s, which is simply having a date, being in a relationship, being taken out to dinner. And it actually bought me considering that Valentine’s Day is such a fraught vacation.

I don’t assume that your relationships ought to matter on Valentine’s Day. Love is a common feeling that transcends all types of relationships, and so the day shouldn’t be particular to relationships and celebrating these sorts of relationships. And I actually couldn’t settle for that I wanted to have fun on a separate day earlier than Valentine’s Day, and I couldn’t partake within the day itself as a result of I wasn’t in a relationship.

And so I went on this mission to redefine Valentine’s Day. I took on this mission of desirous to do issues that I beloved, or that felt loving to myself. And I keep in mind distinctly the primary day I did it. I used to be learning overseas in Paris. It was a grey day, raining.

However I wearing my lace prime, I placed on crimson lipstick, and I took myself out to a pastry store and I purchased essentially the most decadent pastry I might discover. And I walked to the Seine. I wiped water off of a bench. And I sat down and I simply indulged within the dessert. And it was essentially the most splendid feeling of affection.

[MUSIC PLAYING]