For most of my twenties I blamed my hair on genetics. Frizzy, flat by noon, breaking off at the ends — I figured that was just what I was working with. It took a frustrating year of trims that never seemed to add any length before I admitted the problem wasn’t my hair, it was what I was doing to it every day.

1. I was washing it too often. I used to wash every single day because my scalp felt oily by evening. All that washing was stripping natural oils, which made my scalp produce even more oil to compensate. Stretching to every other day, then eventually two or three times a week, was uncomfortable for about two weeks and then my scalp actually balanced out.

2. I was using heat without ever checking the temperature. My straightener had a dial and I never once looked at what it was set to. I was running it at the highest setting on hair that was already color-treated, basically cooking it. Dropping to a lower setting and using a heat protectant before every session made a bigger difference than any product I’ve bought.

3. I brushed wet hair like it was dry hair. Wet hair stretches and snaps far more easily than dry hair, and I used to yank a regular brush straight through it right after a shower. Switching to a wide-tooth comb, starting at the ends and working up, cut my breakage noticeably within a month.

4. I ignored my scalp entirely. I spent money on serums and masks for the hair itself and never once considered that healthy hair starts at the scalp. A cheap scalp massage brush during shampooing, just a couple minutes, improved circulation and made a real difference at the roots over a few months.

None of this was expensive or complicated, which is honestly what convinced me it was worth sticking with. If a fix requires a sixty dollar serum, I’m skeptical now. If it just means doing less — less heat, less washing, less rough handling — it’s probably closer to right. My hair isn’t perfect, but it’s the healthiest it’s been since high school, and I got there by taking things away, not adding more.